We carpool since we work in the same office. When we come home from work, Mr. Zoom has a ritual he has to perform before he will go into the house. Normally I bring my own keys so he can go flip the mailbox door some magic number of times and I’m already face down in a bag of chips by the time he comes through the door.

Tonight I didn’t have my keys. Tonight it was cold outside and I had my dinner burrito and I was very anxious to make a mask out of it.

Mr. Zoom heard me squeak. “Would you like the keys?” he asked.

“Yes please!” I responded with enough force to justify that exclamation point as I stepped towards him.

That’s when he farted. Very loud.

“Never mind! I don’t want them that bad.”

Guys, the things I saw him do to our mailbox. I almost forgot how cold and hungry I was.