There was only one place for us to sit. Right next to a table with two men. The older man teetering on old status was wearing a fedora, a hounds tooth jacket and a carefully lain red scarf around his neck. The other one was your default 40 year old guy in a long sleeve button up shirt, jeans and a pair of Chucks.
My lunch companion was a stunning woman who draws attention everywhere she goes. I should have known there was no way I was getting out of that without a hickey by proxy. We took our seats. The old man went first. He had a heavy Italian accent and he was a soft talker. In a really loud restaurant. He either said “Happy Holidays” or “I bake hay.” No one will ever know. After that, the gate was open and grandpa Simpson made a break for it.
“I am from Italy. My size is medium,” he said. “Is that so?” I played along. “Yes, and this is my son,” he said while flourishing towards his table mate. The son, clearly accustomed to this, began repeating “This apple falls far from the tree” as one would pray while a plane soars into a mountain.
Old man: “My son is French. Are you French?”
Me: “No, but my friend here speaks French.” The son and my lunch companion knitted a French conversation with laughs and nods. I was relieved that there was conversation happening that I couldn’t understand, nor was I expected to understand.
Old man: “Do you know what I like best about the new iPhone?”
Me: “No. Do tell.”
Old man: “The x-ray machine.”
Nods all around.
Old man: “Do you know what I do?”
Me: “No. Do tell.”
Old man: “I make movies.”
Nods all around.
To prove his movie making prowess, he readied his iPhone with something he wanted to show each of us. He said “see?” as he turned the phone for us to see. The screen was black and blank.
Nods all around.
Old man: “Are you Catholic?”
Me: “No, I am not.”
Old man: “That’s ok.”
Nods all around.
Our food arrived and our Italian/French atmosphere decided to let us eat in peace. After, of course, my friend’s business card had been obtained.
I looked at my friend after they left and asked her “Is that why movies are so expensive?”
